COOKERY MOCKERY !!!!!


Remember, i said last week that i was going to stay alone and for the first time i was going to try my hands on cooking 😛 (oh yeah that leaves maggi ofcourse 😛 ) .Now that the not so adventurous day is over , i am going to write about it here today .

No suspenses !!! No guesses !! . The title of the post actually says it all 😀 .

So the day started at around 10 which was quite early considering the fact that i normally get up after 12 PM . So i went to kitchen looked around and found some things kept separately. Thanks to mom ,she knew it would take a week for me to identify the things required to cook . Before I began my cooking adventure (which was not that adventurous ofcourse ) , i would make it clear that all i wanted to cook was RICE and DAl , probably the easiest of all:P . Cooking rice was a piece of cake actually . Only regret was that i was too excited to check if it was cooked properly 😦 .

The real problem came with dal ( chane ki daal ) . I found it raw in a small box and wondered how to start..i knew it we have to put water and put in cooker with it ..but how long . .?? and what after that ??? I knew mom told me something about it but couldn’t actually remember it 😦

i looked up at the ceiling scratching my chin and started to recollect my conversation..

MOM– Come with me , I will tell u how to cook daal.

Me(playing counter strike ) – Later mom . This is important those damn guys are killing me . I have to pay them back.

MOM – Later !!! U forgot that i am going to leave in about half an hours time .

ME – Oh .umm ..ok tell me ..I can hear it while playing .

MOM – “………………………….”

ME (jumping off my seat) – Yeppi !!! .I Finally killed a terrorist !!!! 😛

MOM – Oh great.. Anyway are u clear ??? . Can u make it tomorrow ???

ME – Ya Ya .I can manage . Let me play now !!

DAD ( smiling his way into the room ) – Are u sure u want to cook ??? why dont u eat out like always ?? . I would hate to see u suffer from food poisoning .

ME – Grrrrrr……….

So now whole world was rotating around me . I don’t know what to do with the dal. I realised like always i have been really inattentive exactly when my mom was telling me the details 😦 . I finally sat in the hall and switched on the TV . Suddenly Jumping with excitement and praising myself i satin front of my PC . I finally had a way out. Opened a free sms site and sent a message to a dear freind of mine who lives in kolkatta 😛 .She always used to tell me how great cook she is ?? So thought of taking her help . She came online in about 10 minutes .

She : Kya hua !!

Me : Mujhe pakana hai Daal !! kaise pakate hai bata !!!

She : oh, Sun pehle dal ko cooker mein paka

Me : arre meine cooker mein rakha tha..3 vissil ke baat dekha paka hi nahi hai kya karoon 😦

She : ok to 2 vissil aur laga . fir ek kadai le aur usme oil daal aur jab dhuaan aaye usme jira , mirch ,namak aur thoda shakkar daal diyo . aur oil ko jyaada mat jalne de.

Me : Arre lekin yahan 2 tel hai kaunsa use karoon .

She : jo cooking oil hai woh

Me : Acha , kaunsa cooking oil hai

She : ek hoga til ka tel woh mat use kar doosra wala jo dikhne mein white hoga woh use kar

Me : ok daal diya ab .

She : jira mirchi daal aur sun puri baat sunke jaa nahi toh sab jal jayega .. aur fir thoda garam masala aur tmatar bhi ..

ME : ab mein garam masala kahan se doondo mummy shayad bahar rakhna bhool gayi 😦

She : acha chod jo hai woh toh daal ..aur sun..

before she could complete the sentence, i went to kitchen and came back after a minute or so

ME : arre daala .par jeera daalte hi kaala hogaya ..i think woh jal gaya hai ..meine usime namak mirchi sab daal diya

She : uff … bola tha tujhe sunke jaa ..

ME : acha chod aage ya karoon

She : ab daal ko tel me daal aur thoda sa pani dal ke paka fir se .

I was too brave to transfer the contents with my bare hands .. Result : it was so hot that i dropped it on the floor spilling half of the content. Then I realized that i should have started with some more of it to compensate for these type of losses 😛 .Now the dal looked really less for me . But i was happy of the fact that it was finally going to be ready in a minute .

I was really hungry now so switched off the gas . After about 30 minutes i had a plate full of Uncooked rice ,a daal that only looked like a daal and some potato chips on my plate . Yummy !!! potato chips are my favorite . Well ,what followed was 15 minutes of unbearable penance and it was hard to accept that i hardly ate swallowed about 5 spoons of it 😦 . I tried to eat more but couldn’t , i had to surrender. I took the food and threw outside thinking atleast street dogs would savor my unique cuisine 😛 .

I could hear my stomach making sounds asking for something edible but i had none . My worst fears were going to come true .

Me : Oh no ! Not maggi .. I will cook anything but maggi

MY AE (Alter Ego) : Oh yeah .So what do u wish to cook MR Chef ??

Me : umm well dunno . But i will make a way out for us . dont u worry !!

MY AE : Its already 2:30 . just because u play the stupid game till 3 morning and watch ur own ass getting kicked i had to miss my breakfast .I dont wish to miss my lunch too .

Me : Oh . i am noob i know it ,but its just a matter of time before i become a pro in the game so u can stop nagging me and about the food , i think we can go to a good restraunt and have food 😀 . Brilliant idea . Isn’t it ??

MY AE : The idea sucks dude. there’s no time and energy left in u to reach the place. U might well end up in a hospital bed taking glucose .

Me : so what do u want me ot do ??

MY AE : Cook what u are best at .

Me : What about my Oath ??? .I promised not to eat maggi atleast today!!!

MY AE : As usual, break it . I wont tell anybody ,just between u and me 😉 ..howz the deal 😛 ???

Me ( moving towards kitchen ) : yeah right !! i guess thats the only option .

ME AE *beaming with a victory*

Man proposes god disposes . Thats what exactly happened here . .Well my cooking adventure ends here but i guess i wont stop with it I will try it again :P. Perhaps next time it would be a little better and yeah next time i am going to give some respect to the kitchen and try not to make a mess out of it . Last but not the least I assure u i wont eat maggi next time . Its a Promise !!! 😛

let me leave u with calvin now . Chao !!

Click the image to open a bigger Pic

Calvin- The cook

Calvin- The cook

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55 responses to “COOKERY MOCKERY !!!!!

  1. I started it last week 😀
    I cooked beef curry .. everything went according to the plan 😀

  2. ahhhh…so you survivedwithout your mom… maggie to maggie…kuchh to khaya na!

    and hey which is this free sms site? i want the url… pllllllleeeeeeeeeeaaaaase!!! 🙂

  3. I think in short this cooking experience of urs can be briefly defined as a …..horrible meal for a terrible day [:D]
    So, the moral of the story is that u hv been simply eating for past soo many years without the slightest idea or the simple question “How to cook”[;)]

  4. Daal me shakkar….hmm, good start..;):) Lolz..

  5. LOL

    there was another way…instead of trouibling ur frd…

    google maa ki JAI!!!!

    it could have also helped…

    but at last the moral of the stry :))

    listen to ur mother always :DD

  6. Hi,

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  7. wow! look i can cook way better than you 😛

  8. tcch! tcch! tcch!

    Poor AE…..

    Am sure that even u wud have listened to your mom u might have botched up someway or the other 😀

    BTW u didn’t break anything????

  9. Some fun you had, may be better luck next time.

  10. i remember last time b4 this ur mom and dad went to temple and u r supposed to cook on that day… But fortunately they returned back home soon and cooked for u…
    u always said me im prepared to cook… aur dehko aaj kya hua..?? 😛 So start learning how to cook at least now buddy.. It will be helpful for ur AE 🙂

  11. I wonder why men find cooking so complicated! 🙂 It is so simple to cook dal and rice! As for maggi, it’s poison! 🙂

  12. way to go brother ! u finally made maggi !!! U shudve gone by the advice of many in the previous post…order ur food, have it from outside, etc…but dont worry, theres always a next time…..to order food that is !!!

  13. So u really suck at cooking. Learn it before u get married 🙂 U dont have to excel but atleast should be able to feed oneself and if necessary someone else if the cook of the house is ill or not there.
    last time when my parents were away I used to cook rice, daal, cauliflower dish and fish curry!! 🙂

    @Oxy His friend lives in Kolkata. Its understandable. We Bengalis put little sugar in daal. But not every daal. I think its done in Arhaar Daal.

  14. Brave effort dude! 😀 Really! My vooking however, is entirely random. I just cook whatever I feel like. And then see how it turns out. 🙂 Why don’t you ask SU for some pointers? He is a pretty good cook.

  15. I couldn’t get the conversation in hindi-english 😦 But understood that you made a mess.

  16. hahah!! cute 😀

  17. ROTFL!!! Maggi saved your day!!! Hahahah cant believe itni effort daal banane me lagi 🙂

  18. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! 😀
    Hilarious, dude! Just too hilarious! 😀
    Hehe!! I can’t stop giggling! I am an accomplished chef, so don’t worry, I’ll teach you and then beat you at counterstrike! 😀

    And this line: “Cooking rice was a piece of cake…” Hmmm… Do you realize how tough it is to bake a cake? You’ll burn the house down if you try!! 😀

  19. @dinu
    Oh..i am jealous ..except me everybody cooks 😦
    😛

    @sakhi
    haan ..jaan bach gayi ..thanks to maggie 😛
    and free site is
    Mycantos.com or else indyarocks.com ..
    or easiest way if u have orkut account is to add free sms application and send free messeges anywhere in the country..
    there are lots and lots of sites which allow u to send free sms 😀 ..google ki jai 😛

    @subha
    he he ..yeah .. i was too busy enjoying the meal to notice how it was being cooked..
    cooking encapsulation 😛
    aur tu bahut orkut karti hai aajkal .mujhe dikh raha hai 😀

    @oxy
    LOl.. .i was suprised too but she said we have to put little 😉

  20. @chakoli
    😀 well she wasn;t bothered much i think . 😀 she actually laughs now when ever she remembers it … 😛
    and google wouldn’t provided live replies to my vague and lame questions 😀 .
    yeah i am going to listen to my mom from now 😉

    @richa
    thanks for the info richa..i will have a look over ur site 🙂

    @vishesh
    😦 yeah …all are better cooks than me 😦 😥
    I will return with a bang 😀

    @smitha
    lol …yeah i guess i have to accept that. .:D
    the only solace was no damage to the kitchen except the mess i ceated. fortunately all containers were plastic so chances of them getting broken are quite less 😀

  21. @dinesh babu
    thanks 😀

    @tweety
    Yeah ..my eyes are open now 😀
    i will learn no matter what it takes 😀 .

    @nita
    lol … i guess i will learn cooking soon .my dad can cook ..so i can too 😉 .. first time was supposed be a blunder 😀
    maggi ?? poison ?? 😛 once in a while its okay i guess 😀

    @Vimal
    yeah next time i will that either i am prepared proeprly to cook or i order the food before trying anything sillyto be in a safer side 😀

  22. @Reema
    yes . i know it now .
    i really suck..but as said to many ppl above i will learn it. .. 😀
    wow ..i love caullyflower 😀 ..yummy !!

    @Anniyan
    he he .thanks 😀
    ..u can guess what would happen if i cook something random 😛 ..
    and i never knew su is good cook ,..will get hold of him 😀

    @xylene
    that hindi conversation was nothing …
    she was just telling me the procedure and i was doing everything wrong … 😀

    @Raji
    lol … Cute !! post ??? calvin ??? or me ?? 😛

  23. @Nova
    he he … maggi alwyas does the rescue act when no one ‘s in my home 😀 😉
    haan itni mehnat lag gayi mujhe … aur itni mehnat ke baad bhi daal bana nahi theek se 😦

    @Nikhil
    lol ..no wonder 😉 i realised while replying to the comments that i am the only shameless creature around who does not know how to cook ..
    and u wanna beat me in counter strike .. 😛 ??

    he he ..yeaa i wont try baking a cake ..if not house the kitchen sure would catch fire 😀

  24. hehehh… so you landed up eating Maggi for ur lunch n dinner as well? 😛

    Upload the pic of the Dal you prepared 🙂

  25. Plastic???

    Well you cud have burned them and everything would have melted 😀

  26. LMAO. Well done dude, I’m proud of you. Haha.

  27. Ha ha ha ha .. Nice one buddy !!!

    But why didn’t you go out and eat ?? .. what’s the need for such hassles man ?? ..

  28. @manasa
    he he no only for lunch..
    before i could mess up the kitchen further my mom came..
    😀
    and no dont have the pic..
    the daal looked perfect from outside.. 😀

    @smitha
    yup plastic…
    well yes i could have burnt them .fortunately nothing of sorts happened

    @Ish
    thanks 😀 .. all i needed was someone to cheer me up 😀

    @soham
    LOL …
    i should have..but something told me i should cook..:D

  29. Hey thanks for the sites. In-fact i did goodle those sites but office se sab block hai 😦 so ab ghar se hi karna padega!

    And i am happy that tunhari jaan bach gayi!

  30. well i didnt know ur “she” teaches u online cooking as well 😉 i used 2 only tease u…bt nw i have one more reason 2 continue.. :mrgreen: details ka conversation baad mein poochungi…. 😉

  31. How are ya? **HUGS AND KISSES**

  32. Wow!!! Great!!! You are the king of guys who can’t cook to save their lives. 🙂
    Nowadays, everything comes in ready to eat packs. why should we cook? 😉

  33. lemme share a secret 🙂 even i know how to make only maggi 🙂 have tried making rice once but the result wasnt as bad as urs 🙂 n rasam n stuff is completely out of question ! lol

  34. The adventure is really great! All the very best next time…….m feeling like to eat Maggie after reading your post.

    Thanks for stopping-by! 🙂

  35. hahaha.. oh shucks.

    well, if it makes you feel any better.. i don’t know how to cook maggi even. =|

  36. u r tagged!!

  37. Haha! I am a maggi fan so I would have been very happy with cooking disasters!

  38. Try out cooking. Slowly but steadily you will get a knack of it and trust me there is no better stress buster than cooking.

    I wait for weekends to come so that i can try out some new recipe. Just google for the recipes and then you are on your way 😀

  39. Yey! Maggi to the rescue 😀

    Once wen i volunterred to sponsor lunch, i ended up messing everything up that i finally told my folks “lizards…lots of them…fell into everything except the curds!!” 😀 we then ordered from the nearest restaurant 😀

  40. @sakhi
    welcome 😉

    @riddhima
    [:O] [:O]

    @smallstar
    i am fine ..how are u ?? 😀

    @amit
    yeah u are right ..i must be the king..i cant make even a simple chaay 😦

  41. @meghna
    ha ha …
    ok i will keep it as a secret ..
    actually i had asked my mom to tell the recipe of rasam too ..she was sure that i cant make it so she dint tell me 😀

    @gayathri
    oh really ..
    yeah that makes me feel little better 😀

    @neilna
    ha ha …
    come over here ..i will make u as mush as u want ..after all thats wat i know to cook 😉 😛
    @kaddu
    ok 🙂

  42. @arvind: mmmh I am not totally well… I have some ‘small’ problems… Thanx 4 asking!

  43. @solitare
    LOL

    @liju
    Oh …yeah i have heard a lot about cooking being a good past time and stress buster thats y i wanted to try it ..
    i just hope that i am able to cook before my marriage 😀

    @scorpria
    ha ha ..LOL
    thank god i dint call anyone .. 😀

  44. tu hai na firstly orkut and wordpress k smileys mein differentiate karna seek 😡 hamesha u mix d two….. :mrgreen: i think tujhe “kisise” orkut par chatting thodi kam karni chahiye….apne aap yeh aadat chooth jayegi :mrgreen:

  45. @ smallstar
    hope everything is fine again 😦

    @ ridhzi

    arre sirry bas tere saath hi aisa hota hai …
    may be kyuj ki tu orkut mein smilies jyaada use karti hai .. 😛

  46. he he..that was funny.

    Cooking is not that difficult, dont worry you will manage it next time. Even I cant call myself a seasoned cook as I dont cook often. BUt with instrcuctions and tries can manage soemthings.

  47. These Calvin caroon are being very polular in our blog groups. Reema too never closes without them. I to ahve put in my earlier postas. Only I am too lazy to insert while I have a good collection of Calvin strips.

  48. Oh poor you! Finally the lesson is-all should learn cooking!
    PERIOD.

  49. @ poonam
    hmm ..i will learn it slowly… i can when so many ppl can ..
    yeah calvin is very popular .. i too find many blos with calvin headers and images in sidebars 🙂
    i just feel that calvin’s presence makes the post special..
    atleast ppl can enjoy the strip if not what i wrrite 😀

    @ mahak
    yeah i guess u are right ..everyone should know

  50. It’s always great to hear the experiences of somebody starting to cook 🙂 .

  51. @kanagu
    yeah .. 🙂
    have u tried cooking 😛

  52. still now i didn’t had that lovely experience 😀 I love to post a article on tat soon.

    Let’s hope its as hilarious as your 😉

  53. Pingback: Nominations So Far…(Updated 06/Oct…still more to come) « Visceral Observations

  54. Pingback: Final List of Nominated Posts « Visceral Observations

  55. Found it!
    U know reading this post did a hell of good for my Self -Esteem :):)

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